I'm Loving You, But,... I Don't Have To

It was a first time..
To see your pure smile appearing by your lips, it was the first time my heart's beating so fast..
No, before, it was really a common thing seeing you smile that i just ignored you.. But, that time it was so amazing that my heart really couldn't take in its proper place..
That my eyes can be stubbornly only looking at you.. It was the first time!


You never knew right? Yes, you did or you do? Even right now, you are knowing nothing..
That i wanna chat with you even you don't want..
That i wanna smile and laugh together with you..
You know? I'm interested in everything you wanna do..
You like to be quiet, then i tried to be so talkactive to make you say..
That i sacrified to get close to you that i could see you often when i could..
But, yeah, you just know that i was lacking in everything you like..
That you helped me to come forward..

But you neglected me, when i wanna help you..
The biggest thing i wanna ask "Why you do that to me?"
It's just not fair why you're smiling purely in front of someone not me..
Then, you don't know why?
I am upset, when i try to be near by you, you get further from me..
Don't you realize it?
I think NO..

Such a ridiculous thing that i am (still) hoping you this much..
I wanna love you that you love me too, but it's impossible right?
There is noone like you, i always think like that..
What about you? Do you think the same way?
Loving you, the more i love you, the more i get this lovesick..
Can i stop it? Stop loving you?
If i can, i will, but... It's hard!
Simple say, but hard to do..

I beg, can you go away from my dream?
You know? Your lips, your eyes, your smile always come to my dream..
Really, it's disturbing like i wanna be mad, but why i can't be?

God, is this really love you wanna make between us?
No, i mean to me?
I'm loving you, but,... I don't have to..